Dear World...
Or should I say dear self? Today is day one on a journey of self discovery. Recently my work, where I am employed announced "possible cut-backs". I sat in my chair and realized, where have I been for the past 4 years since I started my job. Yes... a job, not a career. Technically I am 11 days away from the 4 year anniversary but needless to say I started calling myself a 4 year employee about 5 months ago.
As I think of my first day where I sat in a chair, pretending to smile and totally uncomfortable with my boss training me and watching my every move, I grew into someone who is completely independent from those she works with. There was a point where I felt so popular, so loved/liked and my schedule was so busy after work with Happy Hour, Six Flags, Movies, you name it, i had it planned with "coworker friends"... That didn't last long until I realized I did not like that life. My life was on display for everyone to talk about, not just hang out and have fun, but to go back to work and somehow my boss making an assumption I drink a lot. Go figure, a girl who can barely finish one drink!!
Anywho, within the 4 years, I have applied for 6 internal positions, interviewed for 5, was sent out of state for interviews as well. I thought I had each and every one of those jobs, but what got in the way? The intern already doing the job! Fact #1, never apply for a job if there is already an intern doing the job. Fact #2 never trust anyone who states "the intern may not apply for the job"... (no intern is that dumb). So here I am, still sitting in the same seat almost 4 years later, pondering what I want to do within my life.
Day one consists of asking my boss what does the project of moving my job to the Philippines have to do with me, besides me loosing my job? Why would I want $45 to get a polo with our company name on it when I will no longer be an employee, would I even wear the Polo? And on top of that, why can't I focus on my job itself rather than giving it away? My boss claims he clearly understands and feels the same way, but lets be honest, behind closed doors is totally different than what one will say out loud.
So I decided to mask my anger and save my sanity by attending a Spinning class. Yes, spinning which I am unsure if I will be able to walk in the AM. It was my first class, not too bad. I was able to keep up, although my butt is still sore and incredibly painful during the class, I am pretty sure this will become a routine. I like to do different things so I don't get bored. I've been working out routinely for 3 and a half years, so I guess I am in the groove. I can go a week with 1 workout and come back the next week with 4 workouts, no hesitation.
Until tomorrow, self discovery where are you? I need to prepare and find out what I want, who I want to be, and how I should succeed....
